Chloe sent this letter to Carl and he sent it on to me.

Dear Carl,

25/6/'99.

I received the papers you sent.It saddens me to see how your father is using you to try to get at me.The man is completely and utterly bonkers,he needs to be put away and the key thrown away.I am writing a true version of our life story for you all to read one day.How that man can live with himself after all he's done I just dont know?

If you continue to listen to him his lies and his wickedness you will end up the same as him. He is a sad lonely old man with nothing better to do than dwell in the past and write fabrications of what he feels.His love of Lesley was not a pure fatherly love it was twisted and debauched love and if Lesley is looking down as he thinks then there is no way she would agree with what he did or does now.

What he says about me chucking Lesley out is completely not true, I begged her to stay but she made her own mind up.I know you will not beleive me you were in the hospital at the time, your first breakdown.

Lesley and I did get close in the three years she was ill and you know this by the visits she made to my house and when I looked after her dog for her.Your father doesn't want to except the truth.Dont let him twist your mind the same as himself.You know in your heart what I did for you and what he didn't.There is nothing in those silly litle stories that are true all the facts are twisted comming from his poor twisted mind.I feel sorry for him.and you for beleiving such utter rubish.

Oh by the way he wasn't admonished he was found guilty and Kevin can verify that he was in the court.They didn't give out any punishment because I had writen to the Judge and said I didn't want him to lose his job because of it. He didn't throw the knife away I restled it out of his hand Kevin was there.

I think if you go back into the past you will find that he used to threaten me with scissors and stood in front of the door when I tried to work or do any kind of job.He did all the cursing not me. He cursed me and said he hoped I get cancer of the bowels.He is a wicked evil man and I am sorry that you can't see him for what he really is.

Mum.

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Tuesday, 29 June 1999

Dear Cloe,

Carl rang me and sent me your letter.

He really wants to know the truth. I told him that I would answer the points you raised in the letter and put it all on my web site, and this I have done. A copy is enclosed.

One of my web sites in the UK is www.eaylward.freeserve.co.uk You could access it from a cyber cafe, school or club. You could even start your own site, as I have, so that you could publish your book. If you wish I will publish anything you send to me or Carl so that you can have your say. We all have different versions of our lives.

I enclose some stamps and labels for you.

I have had many emails from old friends from the past who have enjoyed my site. Be prepared; it does take two to three hours to read it all. I have enclosed some other pages from it.

As well as writing my autobiography I am writing a novel and I enclose a synopsis of the story. I have bought a good computer and given my other two to Jackie and Audrey. All three came down to spend Lesley-Ann's fourth birthday with me. Jackie and I had a month's holiday together for my 65th birthday. Jackie comes to stay about once every three months. We usually go to my club and she's well liked there.

Jackie has her own web site and she has just passed her computer exams. She is baby sitting while Audrey is doing her course.

From my address you will see that I have moved. It is to a serviced ground floor flat with a garden and I am very happy and at peace here. The money from the sale of my flat, my pensions and my recent encashment of an insurance gives me a comfortable living. My rent is modest with included heating and hot water and the council maintains the garden. With this weather, it has been lovely.

We have socials in the resident's lounge and outings during the summer and barbecues. Last Christmas we had a lovely dinner, a present and 10 in a Christmas card.

I am at my club most Wednesdays and Saturdays. There is usually good entertainment there and I enjoy the dancing. There's about eight of us in the group. Ivor and Joyce go there but they do not speak to me. We also arrange outings from the club.

I go to see Doll now and again and Amy pops in some Sundays. We all talk about the past as old people do.

I have spoken to Margaret and sorted out the misunderstanding that you phoned me about. I am very happy that Carl has someone to look after him.

I enclose 5 as I know that you find it hard to manage. It may ease your situation and I can afford it. You were never very good with money. Have you discharged your bankruptcy yet? Carl tells me that the boys help you out a lot.

Finally, why not consider allowing Carl Jnr. to live his life in peace. He always has a bad reaction after seeing you, so it is only a matter of time before you are stopped from seeing him totally. No one is supporting you. Even the European court will not be able to help. Your actions have lost you all your friends and made you a lot of enemies.

Your mind would be more at peace if you gave up your "tug of love". Perhaps your religious friends may be able to give you good counsel. Just think about it. When you really love someone you are able to let them go.

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